Friday, December 21, 2012

Momma Drama: The Dentist Part 2

Since I opened the whole dental phobia disclosure can of worms and because so many people kindly responded either to my blog post or to me privately via email, I suppose I should continue the saga for your horror or amusement (just depends how closely you are related to me I guess).

Supposedly repeated exposure will desensitize you.  I’ve certainly had enough dental appointments in the last 8 weeks that I should be desensitized numb by this point. But I suppose that wouldn’t make for a very interesting blog and I’m almost certain my husband would have to call me out for altering reality as we live it!

Trauma (I mean appointment) 1 was to remove all of the silver fillings on my lower teeth. The dentist was convinced a “little valium” would make the first appointment “go smoothly.”  For once I was in FULL medical compliance with taking a medication and I sincerely believed that valium was the answers to my dental prayers.  I was a little worried that I didn’t feel very relaxed when my husband dropped me off at the dentist but nowhere near as worried as the dentist when I refused to take my coat off or put my feet up in the chair.  There are also unsubstantiated claims that I was trying to figure out how to open the window; thankfully the dental office is on the first floor although I’m not entirely sure that would have mattered. After some negotiation we agreed that I would stay for the entire appointment and he’d give me gas for “relaxation.”  I put my big girl panties back on and only cried through part of the appointment.

Trauma or Drama 2 was the consultation with the oral surgeon.  I’m pretty sure I went through an entire inhaler of asthma medication in the waiting room alone.  My husband is a pretty wise guy though and didn’t drop me off for this one; he sat in the waiting room and held my phone, coat, and keys hostage.  Michelle is kinda my hero at the oral surgeon’s office though. In a matter of seconds, right after she took my pulse and blood pressure in fact, she marked on my file in bold red ink phobia. A few moments later she may have marked that out and added TERROR with multiple underlines. The surgeon claimed to be a nice enough guy but seriously I’m not falling for that—how nice can anyone who goes into dental torture really be. I tried to warn him, as did Michelle, about my fear and we both cautioned him to move slowly.  He made a sudden movement and while I can’t confirm anything, it is ***possible*** that he was bitten in the process.  No negotiation was necessary; he “highly suggested” sedation for each part of the surgery. And then it was scheduled by my husband.

Honestly the only thing that prevented me from kicking and screaming my way into the surgery appointment was the fact we had our precious son with us and I didn’t want to terrorize him.  Thankfully Michelle was once again there (by the way it is also ***possible*** that I made her pinkie promise at the first appointment that she would be with me through this entire process) and while I’m not saying it was premeditated I do think it was convenient that the only bathroom they would let me use had bars on the window.

Full sedation was the plan but the surgeon ended up deciding to use gas first since he couldn’t “catch a moving target.”  Not my fault he couldn’t catch my vein to start an IV because I was shaking so hard.  I showed up, what more could they really ask.  More sedation than planned later, the first part of the surgery was over and predictably I was in recovery bawling and saying stupid things. 

This past week I had the silver fillings replaced in my top teeth and I guess it was okay.  I’m fairly confident before long the dentist and oral surgeon will start sedating me from home and transporting me to their offices but at least they finally understand I mean what I say when I claim to be absolutely terrified of all dental procedures.  Surgery part 2 is scheduled in March and I won’t embarrass my family members by telling you exactly how many days and hours and minutes that is away.  I will go on record though as saying if the dentist asks me one more time if I am feeling better about all of this, I may just have to go ahead and bite him (again).