Elf Training Day 3

I have to start out by saying that Elf did amazing last night. He worked well with us on our homework and we even got to show off a few of our “tricks” in the parking lot last night in terms of shake, give me five, and high five which was fun.  He and Caden continue to amuse one another although I wouldn’t say they are bonded yet. They do enjoy playing ball together in the fenced area of 4 Paws so I’m hopeful that they are on their way.  For me the hardest part of our homework though was practicing heel. Heel is foundational in making tethering and walking in public possible; essentially it is when the dog’s head is in line with the seam on your left pant leg. The tricks are that you can’t pull the leash because the dog needs to do this on command and not out of leash tension and that you need to praise and reward the dog every time they look at you and demonstrate that they are focused on you and your commands.  I can’t walk a straight line to save my life and now I have to manage to walk down the hallway practicing this heel command with a relaxed arm and not run into anyone else. Honestly it’s not the service dog people need to worry about in this scenario—I most definitely am a danger to those around me.

Today was intense in that we started out the morning at a local park and did our first track.  Dan, Caden, and one of the trainers hid in a bathroom across the park. Elf, another handler, and I waited on the other side of a baseball field. For the first time out, the handler managed Elf. Once the track command was given we were off very quickly. Once Elf picked up the scent we ran.  I’m thrilled with Elf’s enthusiasm for the task and am also pretty sure that I’ll never wear sandals, flipflops, or heels when I’m with Elf and Caden.  It was very exciting to see how quickly Elf took to the task but also was a bit rough whenever I would stop to think about why we were practicing this command and the circumstances under which we would use it. I finally had to push those thoughts out of my head for a while the best that I could so that I could focus on learning as much as I can.

Back at the facility we reviewed the commands we had thus far learned and talked about any problems/questions that came up over the night. It really is rather reassuring to realize that everyone is in the same boat and that no question is stupid (okay some of the questions are probably pretty stupid but the trainers never make us feel that way). After a late lunch we learned new commands including “under” which will help us place Elf under tables (good news—don’t have to teach this one to Caden because he prefers under tables on the rare occasion that we eat out) and “lap” which is one of our behavior disruption commands. Elf continued to do beautifully but Caden definitely had a much rougher day. He spiked a fever last night and has been dealing with some of his gi problems. Thankfully the constipation meds finally worked but as you can imagine he had a disagreeable stomach all day which in turn led to a generally disagreeable attitude. He laid on some of the mats most of the day although he did manage to announce to the class after one bathroom trip exactly how big his poopsie was and how many there were (yep, we’re still keeping a running total). He asks a few times a day if we can go home and where Ry Ry is but so far we have been able to redirect his attention before he really melts down. I’m not going to sugarcoat this, we are using flat out bribery. Every night he gets a small present (some supplied by grandma and grandpa and some we picked up from the dollar store, each wrapped, usually is some sort of toy that provides entertainment for the next day. Since he gets them at bedtime and we are rushed in the mornings he doesn’t usually get to try out the new toy until we get to the facility which helps a bit. Oh wait we call this positive reinforcement with the dogs, so maybe that’s what I am doing.  Heck I told Caden to come this morning when I wanted to get his shoes on him; not surprisingly Elf was the only one that came.

One thing that I didn’t expect was how much I would enjoy being around other parents who have children with asds.  It kinda reminds me of my study abroad experience in high school. I was thrilled to be in France but sometimes I got homesick and the language challenge was always a stressor because I wasn’t ever as fluent as I needed to be. Every once in a while the American kids would sit together in the lunch room and it was such a relief to be around people who understood my references and with whom I didn’t have to apologize for my words or actions.  I don’t know anyone in my face-to-face world that has a child with autism. My only connections are with people on facebook and they are absolutely amazing but I’ve never got to be around other kids with asds or parents who have the same experiences at the same moment as I do. No one blinks an eye when Caden crawls to the top of something instead of under like other kids would or vice versa. No one minds a kid in the dog crate or him pulling his pacifier out when the stress gets too high. There’s nothing to explain, just notes to compare.  I think that’s something I might miss a bit when we get home. Interestingly the one place people might actually understand is also the one place he decides to keep his pants on….go figure.

Elf Training Day 3

I have to start out by saying that Elf did amazing last night. He worked well with us on our homework and we even got to show off a few of our “tricks” in the parking lot last night in terms of shake, give me five, and high five which was fun.  He and Caden continue to amuse one another although I wouldn’t say they are bonded yet. They do enjoy playing ball together in the fenced area of 4 Paws so I’m hopeful that they are on their way.  For me the hardest part of our homework though was practicing heel. Heel is foundational in making tethering and walking in public possible; essentially it is when the dog’s head is in line with the seam on your left pant leg. The tricks are that you can’t pull the leash because the dog needs to do this on command and not out of leash tension and that you need to praise and reward the dog every time they look at you and demonstrate that they are focused on you and your commands.  I can’t walk a straight line to save my life and now I have to manage to walk down the hallway practicing this heel command with a relaxed arm and not run into anyone else. Honestly it’s not the service dog people need to worry about in this scenario—I most definitely am a danger to those around me.

Today was intense in that we started out the morning at a local park and did our first track.  Dan, Caden, and one of the trainers hid in a bathroom across the park. Elf, another handler, and I waited on the other side of a baseball field. For the first time out, the handler managed Elf. Once the track command was given we were off very quickly. Once Elf picked up the scent we ran.  I’m thrilled with Elf’s enthusiasm for the task and am also pretty sure that I’ll never wear sandals, flipflops, or heels when I’m with Elf and Caden.  It was very exciting to see how quickly Elf took to the task but also was a bit rough whenever I would stop to think about why we were practicing this command and the circumstances under which we would use it. I finally had to push those thoughts out of my head for a while the best that I could so that I could focus on learning as much as I can.

Back at the facility we reviewed the commands we had thus far learned and talked about any problems/questions that came up over the night. It really is rather reassuring to realize that everyone is in the same boat and that no question is stupid (okay some of the questions are probably pretty stupid but the trainers never make us feel that way). After a late lunch we learned new commands including “under” which will help us place Elf under tables (good news—don’t have to teach this one to Caden because he prefers under tables on the rare occasion that we eat out) and “lap” which is one of our behavior disruption commands. Elf continued to do beautifully but Caden definitely had a much rougher day. He spiked a fever last night and has been dealing with some of his gi problems. Thankfully the constipation meds finally worked but as you can imagine he had a disagreeable stomach all day which in turn led to a generally disagreeable attitude. He laid on some of the mats most of the day although he did manage to announce to the class after one bathroom trip exactly how big his poopsie was and how many there were (yep, we’re still keeping a running total). He asks a few times a day if we can go home and where Ry Ry is but so far we have been able to redirect his attention before he really melts down. I’m not going to sugarcoat this, we are using flat out bribery. Every night he gets a small present (some supplied by grandma and grandpa and some we picked up from the dollar store, each wrapped, usually is some sort of toy that provides entertainment for the next day. Since he gets them at bedtime and we are rushed in the mornings he doesn’t usually get to try out the new toy until we get to the facility which helps a bit. Oh wait we call this positive reinforcement with the dogs, so maybe that’s what I am doing.  Heck I told Caden to come this morning when I wanted to get his shoes on him; not surprisingly Elf was the only one that came.

One thing that I didn’t expect was how much I would enjoy being around other parents who have children with asds.  It kinda reminds me of my study abroad experience in high school. I was thrilled to be in France but sometimes I got homesick and the language challenge was always a stressor because I wasn’t ever as fluent as I needed to be. Every once in a while the American kids would sit together in the lunch room and it was such a relief to be around people who understood my references and with whom I didn’t have to apologize for my words or actions.  I don’t know anyone in my face-to-face world that has a child with autism. My only connections are with people on facebook and they are absolutely amazing but I’ve never got to be around other kids with asds or parents who have the same experiences at the same moment as I do. No one blinks an eye when Caden crawls to the top of something instead of under like other kids would or vice versa. No one minds a kid in the dog crate or him pulling his pacifier out when the stress gets too high. There’s nothing to explain, just notes to compare.  I think that’s something I might miss a bit when we get home. Interestingly the one place people might actually understand is also the one place he decides to keep his pants on….go figure.

Christmas is Here: Day 1 of Service Dog Training

Wow, meeting Elf truly did feel like Christmas morning complete with the anxiety of hoping that your child adores the present that you have picked out for them or that you have interpreted their needs and wants correctly.  Today was exciting, inspiring, draining, and eye-opening.  

Caden was more than ready to go meet Elf this morning after breakfast (I can’t compare our hotel with the other options but I will say that we are thrilled to be staying at Homewood Suites—the suites are roomy, breakfast is great, there is plenty of outdoor space for children and dogs, and thus far the staff has been very accommodating). We weren’t sure about traffic so we left early and used the extra time for a quick Walmart trip. This threw Caden into a bit of a fit because that errand wasn’t on the list we had been reviewing with him for the morning—he actually said but I thought we see Elf!  

Upon arrival at the 4 Paws facility, we were relieved to realize that every other family (there are 8 in the August Angels class) had as many bags and supplies as we did (a bag for Caden’s toys, a bag for miscellaneous stuff we might need, and a small cooler). We were greeted warmly and the woman at the door understood how much Caden wanted/needed to see Elf to make the morning okay.  She walked us over to a row of 8 massive crates and there was Elf in the second crate in the row.  I couldn’t believe he was actually right in front of us and our next journey was about to begin.

Jeremy (the dog trainer extraordinaire who as far as I’m concerned pretty much walks on water) started the class with introductions. When he passed the mike over to Peggy, an intern from Alaska, she quickly introduced herself and passed the mike on. Jeremy mentioned they could talk about themselves and the trainers simply laughed and said Jeremy they want to meet their dogs. And so we did. They brought our dogs out one by one and ELF was the FIRST dog to be brought out!!!! I wish I had words to describe the moment but all I can say is that 2 years of waiting and dreaming and wondering walked towards us with the happiest and sweetest doggy look that I’ve ever seen. Caden actually gave Elf treats. We were encouraged to use treats all throughout the morning to encourage bonding with the dogs. 

If anyone in class had any doubts about the dogs’ training, those doubts were dispelled within 2 hours. One of the dogs started smelling and licking his little boy’s ears. Jeremy stopped and asked about the frequency of the boy’s seizures—turns out the dog was alerting to a child’s seizures that he had just met. Another dog alerted just before lunch and sadly his child also suffered a seizure over lunch break.  Although we didn’t have anything that earth shattering happen, Caden did drop his pacifier during a fall. Elf quickly picked up the pacifier and we thought he was looking for a quick toy but then he dropped the pacifier at our feet and kept picking it up and redropping it until we picked it up. Interestingly he was originally being trained for retrieval and was relying on that training.  

We spent the afternoon working on basic obedience and more bonding with the dogs.  Have I mentioned that Jeremy and the trainers really are amazing?  Jeremy knows not only each dog but has seemingly memorized each child’s video which is no small feat given how many hours of video we each submitted. Elf did so well for both Dan and I although I’m still scared about passing our certification test prior to graduation. I mean the dog even “goes” on command—we take him outside and tell him to potty. I’m trying to figure out if this is a transferable skill; this would shorten our trip back to Minnesota by hours if we didn’t have to stop at every exit because one of the kids needs a restroom and it is usually the same kid who argued he/she didn’t have to go and wouldn’t try at the exit 1 mile back.   And then there’s the sit (stay) and down (stay) commands; can you imagine if the kids would actually stay in their rooms when you told them or would sit down for dinner without anyone running laps around the table?  Did I mention Elf actually goes potty on command? Yea, I’m a little fascinated by that one.

Our dogs stay at the facility tonight and then tomorrow if training goes well, they will return to our hotels with us. The facility has a great fenced yard with play equipment and practice areas that we can use before and after training each day. Indoors there are rooms you can bathe the dogs in as well as a huge playroom with lots of sensory items for the kids. Caden handled today better than I expected although all of the kids were on stim overdrive and unfortunately it seems like each child’s stim was another’s trigger. For example Caden was Mr. Safety reminding each child to hold onto the indoor trampoline’s handle while another was compulsively putting toys away even if it meant taking them from the child who was playing with them. Of course Caden and another child did manage to cooperate enough to switch pacifiers a few times---gotta see if Jeremy has a command to prevent that tomorrow!

ELF

Today has been an amazing day. We received an email titled Dear Caden; it was what 4 Paws 4 Ability calls a “match letter.” In that letter were the name and a picture of our service dog. ELF—such a short name, but what an impact it has had today. Even Caden is excited that the doggy in the picture is going to be his. 

I think we’ve been climbing a mountain since July 2009. It was both exciting and terrifying to receive that packet in the mail from 4 Paws letting us know that we had been approved for an autism service dog and that we could officially begin fundraising. $13,000 dollars is a lot of money, but that same month we had moved to another state where we didn’t know anyone and I honestly didn’t know how we were going to raise that money. I also didn’t know how we would share our story because I wanted to protect the kids and honestly our hearts from disappointment and the negativity that is sometimes associated with anything having to do with autism. But we also knew that we had to do it; having a dog that was trained to search and rescue, tether, and engage in behavior disruption was one more opportunity to let both of our kids just be kids. It would give Caden another constant in his life that could be with him at school, at the hospital, or playing in our house/yard and it would free some of our attention to make outings easier on Ryley as well. 

So we began climbing that mountain. It wasn’t easy though and I’d be lying if I didn’t say that there were a number of times that I thought to myself that we’d never raise the money and should just quit now. My husband was the new department chair and his job prevented him from being active in the day-to-day fundraising operations. I was teaching 4 or 5 online classes that  I had never taught before and during this time Ryley developed a staph infection in her eardrum that required us driving 3 hours to Cincinnati Children’s Hospital one or two times a week for months. 

However, like climbing a mountain, every time I thought the climb was over there would be another phone call for an interview or an email with a fundraiser. Thankfully I sent emails to the right organizations and found several college students who were willing to go above and beyond the call of duty. They continually found new ideas for fundraisers and I muddled my way through creating a website and Facebook group. Each new foothold would move us a little closer to the top of the mountain.

We finally reached the top and the letter came in the mail stating that we had completed our fundraising responsibilities. Climbing the mountain was tiring though and it took us awhile to realize that we were truly at the top. Honestly I don’t think we completely began to enjoy the view until today when we met ELF in that email.  It feels real and we can finally see how beautiful the view is from the mountain top.