Saturday, August 25, 2012

When Elf's On Your Side, Anything is Possible


On Caden’s birthday Dan had to leave town unexpectedly for a family emergency.  As you can imagine this had the potential to launch a major autism disaster as did his absence for the next 9 days; honestly it did launch an autism blow up but I think Elf and I managed to minimize the disaster to semi-tolerable levels.  There were some notable highlights and lowlights.....

First we managed to finish out the birthday without too much drama. Caden genuinely enjoyed opening his presents and even requested the birthday song. Now this is huge because as you may recall we’ve had a ban on such songs for several years now. Granted he stopped us part way through the song but it was a sparkling indication that 6 is going to be a spectacular year for Caden. 

Thursday was a dramatic day although probably more so for me than the kids.  I have a huge dental phobia-you know the kind of phobia that doesn’t allow you to walk through the door to a building that houses a dental office or even watch dental commercials. But the appointments couldn’t be rescheduled until well after the start of school (and yes I did confirm that information just in case I had an escape hatch to use) so we headed out.  Caden was an absolute rock star even though he had to have dental xrays for the first time and the assistant wouldn’t allow Elf or I to go back with him.  He handled the exam and cleaning better than I did and the only work Elf had to do seemingly was with me.  We even made it home from the dental office although we may have taken a scenic route home. 

Fast forward through a few major meltdowns and we were ready for Ryley’s birthday party Thursday evening.  Although we were risking life and limb by going to a roller skating arena for the party, I refused to risk Elf’s tail so he stayed home.  Hosting a pre-teen party and keeping an eye on an energetic 6 year old was interesting but thankfully the older kids were all very kind and took turns playing with Caden on the playscape. One of the mothers even took pity on the look of fear on my face and stayed to help me. 

Friday we started a new medication for Caden.  After a long consultation with his pediatrician, we decided that Caden just couldn’t tolerate another surgical procedure unless we were dealing with an emergency.  She shared that trialing him on a new medication would give us almost the same information as one of the tests  because we’d either see improvement or we wouldn’t.  Side effects potential seemed minimal so I was totally and completely sold on the noninvasive plan. The kids and I headed out to pick up the prescription, try to get a few more school supplies at Walgreens, and then try to find the specialty pharmacy that was compounding a few new meds for our cat who apparently has kitty IBS.   Seriously we now have a dog with an ulcer and a cat with ibs—are we just the human and mammal GI disaster household??? This was all pretty uneventful until a stranger climbed into the front seat of the van with us and then proceeded to chat after realizing she was in the wrong car. Note to self: must research how to behave in a carjacking asap as I realized I had no clue although future carjackers should note that I am directionally illiterate so please allow extra time to program my gps.

Saturday marked the passing of another 28 days so the kids were slated for infusions at the hospital. We were able to get the new product in time for this infusion and thankfully both kids’ needles went in on the first try this month. Since I’m already boring you with a lot of details I won’t get into too much on this one other than to say that Caden had a rough time with the new medication and that gray isn’t the best color on him.

A lot of meltdowns, very little sleep, another doctor’s appointment, and a lot of school supply shopping later we headed to Mayo on Wednesday.  The biggest thing I learned on this trip is that I don’t drive our new van enough.  Case in point: Ryley and I had to read the instruction manual in the gas station parking lot in order to get the gas thingy off and we rode home with our windshield wipers on because I either thought it was a good idea or couldn’t get them turned off while driving [I am neither confirming nor denying which answer it is]. I also had to continue to be very thankful that my phone has an amazing gps because our creative route out of Rochester would have put us in the wrong state eventually if gps wouldn’t have kindly ordered us otherwise.  

I don’t know if I lost or won more battles in the last week but I do know that the kids were fed, they got some sleep, the house was semi-organized and clean, and at the end of almost every day Elf and I were still standing. I can honestly say that I needed Elf almost as much as Caden did because he was my backup and some hours the only living being in our household that I could guarantee liked me at that moment.  There’s something reassuring and consistent about a service dog and I’ve got to say he seems to be showing a lot less ptsd than I am at the moment.  Maybe it’s his acceptance of the moment rather than anxiety over past experiences or worry over what’s coming up next.  As long as there’s a little treat every once in a while, he’s ready for the next challenge; although I don’t quite know how yet, there’s a lesson for me to learn in Elf’s demeanor. I’m just hoping that we can substitute out Coke Cola or Starbucks for those stinky little nonvegetarian doggy bites that he so loves!

Monday, March 19, 2012

The Tale of a Super Service Dog

Yesterday something happened that we haven’t been able to do for a very, very long time---years in fact. We were able to make an appointment at a portrait studio, keep the appointment, and actually get pictures taken.  Not just any pictures—pictures of both kids together, and even more amazingly pictures of both kids INDIVIDUALLY. Yep, I mean Caden had his picture taken totally and completely by himself. And we walked out without any tears, if you don’t count the ones that my husband shed as he was looking over the receipt. 

Oh don’t get me wrong, we had limitations. Caden wasn’t going to lay down for any pictures and he was pretty determined that he was sitting criss-cross applesauce, but he was smiling and at least looking in the direction of the camera.  In fact, on our way out, he wanted to know when we could get pictures again. Then my husband cried some more because he knows that this may be the beginning of a very long and expensive relationship between me and the portrait studio because there isn’t much I enjoy more in the world than planning and executing pictures of my beautiful kiddos. And honestly I’ve got years to make up when it comes to Caden, but I probably won’t push my luck……..too much.

So what’s changed? Yes, Caden has gotten older, but the one thing we are finding out the hard way is that autism just gets older too. Challenges exist, they just change over time.  Once we figure out one thing, there is something new to deal with. But maybe that also means that we are dealing with the old things well enough to make them…well…old things that we already dealt with. Maybe the stars and moon were perfectly aligned. Maybe the luck-of-the-Irish was still with us even though we aren’t even close to being Irish. 

My best explanation though is that 7 months ago we met Caden’s “bestest” friend Elf. I know people probably get sick of me saying it, but the dog has truly been a miracle in our lives. He has given Caden so much peace and security in a way we haven’t been able to that it has allowed Caden to explore life a little. We’ve had several successful trips to the mall. We have had some major medical procedures that I’m not sure we would have handled so well pre-Elf. His anxiety level has significantly decreased in public, and even before and after school transitions (something that has always been an ugly process) have become smooth…most days. Most nights he stays in his room, and we haven’t had nearly the number of night terrors that we were dealing with last summer. Meltdowns still occur, but they don’t seem to last as long because Elf’s kisses and “over” seem to have him giggling quicker than any other tactic we’ve tried over the years.

Don’t get me wrong, Elf has not cured Caden’s autism. We still have a good ol’ fashion case of the communication challenged, social interacting nightmarish combination of repetitive behaviors that define autism so clearly. We still, without a doubt, have all of the sensory processing challenges that we have struggled with for years. We are still very much in a fight to give our son the brightest future possible. We are still very much in a fight against autism.

What’s different though is that we have someone else, a furry mass of unconditional love, to help us in the battle. He’s exactly the additional tool that we were hoping for. The more we practice the better Elf gets at hide-and-find (tracking), he and Caden tether well together, and Elf has figured out behavior disruption more impressively than we ever imagined. In fact, he heard Caden’s screech the other day at the playground even though the entire Children’s House (20ish kids), E1 (15ish kids), and E2 (15ish kids) were at the park screaming and having fun as well. What can I say…he knows his boy.

All of this and he also just happens to be Caden’s best friend too.